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when you are ready the teacher appears – when you are really ready the teacher disappears☾

Hello beautiful earthlings! 🌿

I am very self-aware at this point that it has been a wild ride and a long time since I last posted anything- so buckle up your seatbelts- get your personal ticket to this shit show, sit down and enjoy the ride 😀

It has been literally c r a z y, blessed couple of months so I really want to go into more detail later on how everything happened piece by piece BUT this time we are just going to have an overview about the whole summer- and we will continue right there where we left ourselves last time July 26 ( 😀 ) and yes we are indeed living October now.

Off we go.

After the second music video shooting of the summer we had

1. little party with our friends. The feelings of this night mostly love and cute ones- probably went into bed right after the sun has set and woke up happy and feeling loved. I woke up- took a cab home and enjoyed last giggles in the evening with my best friend.

2. We continued our dance season as corona was taking great chunk of our previous season. I was feeling well and alive.

3.Then I got booked to have telly performance in Regatt 40. You can watch it here. The fact that I was selected to be part of this project and to be able to work with people I have crazy respect (Villiko Kruuse, Alice Aleksandridi) to and are really big names in Estonia still makes me shiver when I think about it. In addition to that, I got to work together basically my best friends.

4. Right after the tv show we finished our season in tantsugeen.

5. Then I got invited to other video shootings– and this time also the project was beyond amazing. Really really sweet memories- and look at that pink set! how cute it is!

6. Meanwhile all this I got roses and a gift trip to Rome– which is crazy. I think during this time I was crazy grateful and the tears of bitterness and sorrow slowly started to shift to bring tears of happiness…

7. Then I had another gig- this time I got married and I didn’t even know it the time when I woke up .D. I got even live by my absolute dream and threw that flower thing to people- and funny enough my all dance mates were there cheering to me at my gig and one of my best friends got the flowers! absolutely the best gig ever I have had.

8. Then I got booked even more! In this gig it was time to be a golden goddess. Look at those clothes how beautiful they are- and they were reflecting my inner feelings. July was good- oh dear it was.

9. Before I even could know I found myself on a baltic round trip. As it has been very crazy with my work- project and all other things I honestly didn’t had any time to think through anything- and me as a person- I really need my time as well. Somewhere in Baltics I think all things hit me and, to be honest, I was having a good time but it was also a bit emotionally challenging- if you wish 😀

10. Then I met my baby the first time. Yes before you ask- yes I was crying.

11. Right after the trip I went back to gigs, fun, and a little bit party. On Estonian independence day, I was dancing naked in the kitchen and smoking cigarettes from the window. It was a very fun summer- I must say 😀

12. Then we had a couple of parties and we went to dinner. It was amazing to be in the same table with no other but absolute gurl power- and mother of it Epp Kärsin.

13.Then we got thristy and were dancing in pool of water. The day was long- absolute awesome- I was living every second of my fully popstar dream. It is crazy how I have dreamed all these things when I was little and now they are all happening right now and here. I still can not believe it is my life- but it is!

you can also see video below.

13 and half 😀 I was also modeling for denim dream

14. Then all the sudden I found myself performing in Efta 2020 ( so basically estonian Jussi Gaala) for Grete Paia and Pluuto’s new song which was released there.

15. Then it was road trip time again! this time the occasion was adoption and my doggie dog was waiting for me. I and the coolest- dearest and sweetest Renata packed our assess in the car and drove to Latvia and back in a day with little baby with us 😀 And on that day I became a single mom for a dog.

16. Then also we went to have one gig outside– which was very awesome building opening before le doggo came to the household tara who.

17. Then I went audition and got in freeflow production- which was an amazing feeling. my audition number was 11:11, can you believe 😉

And to be honest that is a great way to end this post. Among these lines, I have come more closer to my spirituality (oh god I hate that word but there we go :D) and my witchiness (:D) I have been doing lately a lot tarot reading for other people too.

It is needless to say that it has been a crazy, hard, lovable summer and I loved every second of it.

Now I have little baby sleeping on my lap and love in my heart. It is on rare occasions you experience so unconditional love from someone.

During this summer I really took care of myself and of course the journey is long- but the only thing I regret is that I didn’t do it any earlier. But I am proud of myself for how far I have got and all the things I have been able to do. Sometimes you lose something and then you get something and that is just part of life.

It is not always easy- but it gets easier day by day.

I love you all,

Thank you for endlessly being with me for loving me as who I am.

It has been a while to feel this accepted.

Thank you for that!

I love you and I hope you have a beautiful evening or morning or mid day whenever you are reading this.


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