tiistai 10. huhtikuuta 2018

Just have a drink and you'll feel better Just take her home and you'll feel better Keep telling me that it gets better

Y O !

I took last week a mission to keep myself awake day time and sleep during night time like a proper human being & I succeed! Until Friday came and I stayed 25 hours awake in a row while being completely mad lad, going to work, a meeting and writing my thesis. That was something I am not willing to do again. Somehwere between 4AM and 5AM I started to questioning if I am even human.
In that moment she knew, she needed rest.
But little she knew, the rest wasn't coming.
So I spent my night being totally overwhelmed, tired and hungry by making worst possible scenarios in my head and wandering around in my apartment.
They say, all who wanders are not lost.
Well- I was.
I saw my reflection in the mirror and in that moment I just knew being this stressed is not worth of it.
There is no need for spending my nights just grinding if I am not here anymore when it is finally time to celebrate.

The next morning I texted with my friend and he pulled me back to this reality while giving me some facts. 

So all in all last week was... well not ballin'! :D
However, today, on Monday I felt like king of the world. Sun was shining and for the first time I fel like I will not freeze during my journey to work in the morning.
I went to get breakfast before I went to the office and the customer servant was so nice.
And so was all my friends. 

I seem to be in and between two opposites.
There is this huge amount of curiosity and willingness to go and experience and want to feel alive, while I feel like I am currently trapped in too many things that does not matter for me too much.

The thing is, that I might have made loads of wrong decision because I thought I will make someone else happy by those decisions.
But in the end- making other people happy with the expense of your own happiness is not long-term solutions.
Because, people leave.
No matter if there is same blood flowing in your vains or not.