perjantai 2. maaliskuuta 2018

E v e n w h e n i t ' s r a i n y a l l y o u e v e r d o i s s h i n e ☾

y o !

I asked in my stories what you want me to write about and you choose me to write about 
what kind of people I find attractive.

In order to answer this question I took my time machine and traveled back in time. We were sitting in the dining table with several my aged people and discussing my love life. It was snowing outside but we were all having comfortable time inside. I don't know how we always tend to go there, probably because I have funny stories about my dating life, or I just can not keep my mouth south about my own things, but anyhow, there we were talking about my person preferences when it comes to the significant other.

I was guaranteed that the perfect person is someone who makes a team with me but doesn't get too attached. Like my past showed, the biggest problem for me is that people don't get it that I am so damn busy often. Because I am a strong person myself, I need someone who has strong opinions and leading skills too. And that is often a problem; where I live now people do not get always the idea that when I have a problem I solve it instead of calling someone to save me from the situation. I am often lady in mistress but I am my own hero, and that is a problem. Because, when people often live in stereotypical gender role environment an independent woman is a bit, well let's say, challenge to handle. 

 In the same discussion I said that I hate when people buy me gifts, hold me like a flower in a hand and have this assumption that I don't want to have a career, but to be stay home mom because that is not the case. Because I am a leader-person in other areas in my life I calculated that leading in a relationship is a good option too.

Hear me out, I am very picky. I L O V E to get know to new people. And I get crush very easily. I can literally have a discussion with you about a steering wheel for two minutes and I am already lost in your eyes. But me to actually care about you takes SO MUCH MORE. And you can see me caring about you in little things. I am not very good at speaking about my emotions (I think it is a compensation because other ways I speak way too much lol) but I show doing small things for you. Not always the things that I like, but I do them because of you.

 When the "normal" person starts liking a bit and gets more attached as time goes, I am absolutely vice versa. And there is one more bad side to me as well- I really rarely give second chances. If you act like an ass there are 7,5 billion of us. Soronoo. 
If there is nothing behind the shell, nor you show that you care about me right reasons I, also magically do what I know best to do; disappear.

But back to the flowers and shit. I have to admit that some kind of charisma and door openings melt my heart. The thing is here, that it is not about the act itself; it is about showing that you think of me too. The essence of giving me a diamond ring is not the ring itself, but it is the effort and thought behind that. The cliche isn't it? But it can go awfully wrong as well. If you give me a doll that you got from supermarket as a free gift which I got earlier myself from the same supermarket, it just leaves me to wonder that what was the thought process that you went through :-D

However, despite the fact that I had to eat my words, and admit that I find myself liking when people treat me right like a lady, there are other things too. I am not interested if you are the most handsome or the most beautiful person on earth if your heart is ugly. I like kind and warm people, with determination. When I get anxious I like someone who calms me down and remind that
we got this, babe.
And who has their life together.
Who is intelligent and humble, but self-confident (I find those three sosososososososo attractive)
Who is honest, and a good person, really.

Because in the end,
that is what really matters.
With me, it is about being the literal A-team.

You can be with whoever you like because in the end love is really a choice.
If you are having two persons you have a thing within two different countries your choice is to be an asshole.
But if you choose to fight the struggle with someone till the end happens what happens,
 that is love and a choice.
You choose to respect the person you are with, and you choose to be with her or him because you love them.

so to cut the bullshit, what I find attractive is, intelligent, humbleness, thinking about others, good sense of humor, honesty, knowing what you want and ability to keep calm and loyal.
Because I find those things in me too.
I want to have stability. 

I could never cheat or play with other people's heart in that sense purposefully.
There is a lot of bad and dangerous sides in me, but something I am good at is being loyal when it is time to be.