perjantai 5. tammikuuta 2018

What Happened When I Took My Lash Extensions Off After 4 Years?

Lash Extensions are amazing, and that is why I had them on on-off over 4 years. My lash lady (who also was one of my sponsors to my beauty contest) was absolutely best lady to do my lashes. Since I found her I have been going to her with an exception to start this semester when I had a break from literally everything including my lashes. When I came back she had found new waves in her life and I had to make a decision whether to continue searching someone to fix mine in the future or make a game changer plan. First I tried to find a new person to do my lashes, but very quickly I gave up. The lash fix was always more for me than just doing my lashes. We became friends with her and as sentimental being I am I wasn't ready to find new mate yet (:-D). ALright, Ok, I wAs AlsO A bIt LaZY.

After having the old fake lashes on almost two months I just wanted to rub my eyes again. As I was preparing myself to something that was about to turn the greatest mistake of my life, removing them by myself (still hurts physically and also to my heart) I remembered the positive feedback I got being without them on summer. People came and told me they liked to look and I should keep the naked eye look.

After a couple of hours, pain, oil, pulling fake lashes and my own lashes on the floor I was finally free. The feeling was like escaping the prison. Or maybe from a really good long-distance relationship, you know the thing itself its perfect but there are so many distracting things. So my cons for having lash extensions were:
*High maintenance. Contrary the general belief, it is really time organizing and consuming to try to make sure lashes look always good. 
*I don't think they are expensive but  that money I can do something else now. 
*Hard to happy makeup and remove it
*Showering is more difficult
*I don't like to be dependent of anyone (that's why I also haven't had my nails done for a moment, because I rather would do them by myself if I just know how :-D I am really bad at doing anything like that)
But they have also loads of good sides! One being constantly looking very fancy always even without make up. 

Last time I took them off by myself I had loads of my own lashes, and they were strong and beautiful. On this time I had a bit fewer lashes, but I know they grow back. And in end of the day, they are not big deal for me. But I decided to postpone putting mascara as long as possible mainly for two reasons.

First of all, after starting my new job I have returned to being the person who likes to put myself out of my comfort zone. And me being without mascara is something I haven't done in my life for so damn long time. I was raised in the environment where mascara was the holy grail of makeup products. Now when watching back, this might seem like being a little bitch (which I am sadly am often :DDDDDDDDDDDD guys&lasses can agree) but my lashes have become my safety blanket. I felt so good in them. Now looking back to that I wonder why. I kinda always attached my validation to lashes. It is sad what society can do to us.

Secondly, besides the fact that I wanted to boost my own lashes growth I was really curious to hear how people looked at me. I know that for example when I wear blazer I always get better customer service than when I go to conclude something on my band shirt on. But nowadays it doesn't matter anymore for me. I literally rather be myself than someone that I don't feel comfortable being. The same applies when I have my full beautyqueenglam make-up on. People have so different attitude with me. When I do not have makeup people come to speak to me more often, they smile to me more often and they pay attention. Or maybe I am just a bit more conscious of myself but I do think the first option is right. 

Lashes being safety blanket for me also has to do with how people always tell their opinion without me asking them to, and it sometimes gets to my nerves. I have always thought that if you don't have anything positive to say for someone's shell then just do not say just don't say anything. With this time, nobody just didn't pay attention at all. My friend told it is more natural look and someone else said: "you look ok beautiful without makeup as well" (:-DDDDD), and someone else told me that her favorite thing about me is that I look good without spending hours to glam up. She always only saw me with my naked eye look, so I just laughed it off by saying that you should saw me a couple of months ago. Full makeup routine every single day. 

So, in the end, being without lashes is such an empowering feeling. It feels good to be just me and feel comfortable without having to depend on anything. It is such a controversial and silly thing to think that you need to look or wear something to be accepted as who you are. One of my biggest things that I had fought in myself before taking them off was because I have been hanging around with the couple of people that I have built a close connection with. Hating to admit it to myself I was kinda scared if my lashes had some kind of impact on those relationships. What a fucking idiot I really am. Like why the hell any reasonable person I want in my life would care about my lashes. Like some black fake lashes have an impact on our relationship why the hell would I even want to be around with them any longer, nor I think it could last in any possible state. I am such a jerk sometimes. 

I can not believe that I just wrote a full post about lashes. I think I can agree with someone who just mentioned this week that "Tara just takes everything so to the heart" that it is a very accurate description of me & my life. 

so yaaaz lashes or not here I come!

will I still wear fake lashes? Of course! especially when I go out. I like the look very much, but for a moment I will enjoy my natural look.