maanantai 16. lokakuuta 2017

☾ Be the person you wish to meet ☾


Relationships should make you happy, not hurt you. 

I have been lucky enough to meet during my life more people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds that I could never imagine when I was a child. It is hard to describe, but I have always kinda known that I am not going to hang around only the Finnish people who are around me. 

Maybe the sense came from the same place as my ideal how the world should work; from Disney movies. Those movies are fulfilled with cultural rich facts and occurrences. And they are also always fulfilled with a thought of justice. I highly believe, that growing up with Disney fairytales have shaped me many ways, but mostly the way to thrive to surround myself with gold-hearted people.
Disney also taught me that sometimes people who seem to have golden-heart have insidious motives.

I still tend to listen my intuition really carefully. And it has never been wrong. How many times your intuition has been wrong in the end? Most of the times I can not explain it to others why I feel in certain way. And that is why, sometimes it is hard to explain people why I don't want immediately to set up a nest with them for the rest of my life. Maybe I am picky, but every round, time has also shown that this was the reason why we two should not pack our bags and move together.

Yesterday I laid down to my couch and stared the roof. I tried long time to connect the dots what was why with some people I just click immediately, even tho I clearly can see this ain't for good man. And why with someone who would be more than perfect in e v e r y s i n g l e way I can not connect. There was nothing that was thriving these people together. In fact, all my dear ones are like completely different worlds. My inner circle includes a loveable, artistic hippie, a guy who master's IT and has the sweetest heart alive, a girl who is funny as hell, the girl who gives zero ducks and is intelligent as fuck, a shy & very trustworthy flight attendant, for example. They all are so very different personas.

And then it clicked. The difference between these people, and the people who I would like to be close but I just can not is how they perceive & treat us. The people who know me does not have a need to tell me how to act to be me. Even tho, sometimes they may carry me their bed after falling asleep in their floor and they know they need to cover me blankets today, they also know that one day I will be alright. They know that they don't try to need to change me as who I am. They let me be me.  

World is what it is. I still know that I don't know anything about this world. But I do also know, that I opened my eyes more few weekends ago, and even though they are still not fully open they are far more open than they have ever been. Suddenly seeing and experiencing loads of things is exciting but also painful. Knowledge is power, but it is also loads of tears.

There will be always people who have not good intentions. But something that you can do about it, is to surround yourself with people who love you. The people who lift you up.
Cover up yourself with people who reflect your future self or the person you want to be.
Whatever you focus you become. 

And if you think you are the toxic one, maybe good start is to go and see yourself in the mirror.
I do still think that you can not force with evil to good results.
Like yes, you can have many things temporary with hate and forcing.
Holding people hostage or putting them through shit just because you think so, may give you temporary result. However, in my Disney world it does not give you long-term solutions.
Nor it gives you happiness.
Smart people are not easy to manipulate. 

I think there are so many ways to be happy as there are us creatures.
So I can not say for example, if you are in relationship where your phone is taken away every single day and you have been restricted to talk your friends that you should leave her/him.
Because I have been watching very close this to happen, and to be honest I think that person is hella happy in that situation, and it didn't matter how I hated it.
So I am not telling what you have to do to be happy.

I am just telling you to be brave enough to take the first step if you think you are unhappy.
And I guarantee you, there will be people to have your back on that path.
If not anyone else,
I am.

Be safe,
Tarawho